I think I'm over it. The Naf I know will never lie to me and treat me like this. The Naf I know is already dead and she'll never come back. The current Naf isn't worth the effort.
Thank you for listening, diary.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
My 18th Birthday Celebration.
14th of April 2011
It's the best. I didn't expected this surprise at all. I thought my 18th birthday will be just another uninteresting day just like any other birthday I had.
Okay okay, let me explain what happened.
Since I have no plans for my birthday and Iaene asked me out for shopping aka celebration. I went out with him. I messaged Daniel to see if he's free after his SP flag day to go out with us and he joined us too. I saw Raymond across the tracks at the MRT station when I was at Dover waiting for Daniel. He wished me a happy birthday, I wanted to ask him to join too but his train is already coming.
So when Daniel joined us, we went to town and shopped. We saw Joshua, Veronica Tang, Gouwei, Shawn and Alex in town. Wow.. so many friends at town. Haha. After buying some stuff. Kirby and Yuting were suppose to join us but they didn't because Yuting is too tired from work and Kirby gotta send her home. It was disappointing but I understand.
Cleo & her boyfriend wished me a happy birthday through the phone too. The only ones who called to wish me happy birthday. Thank you :) Majority of the people just text me Happy Birthday.
So Iaene said he wanted to go Daniel house to slack after shopping at town. Max and Weiping asked me out for supper too. So i suggest to Iaene and Daniel to join us near my house's mac. Weiping is already eating with his colleagues because his workplace is near there. So much coincidence in a day? I didn't even suspect anything haha. Then Melvyn called and asked whether he can drop by my place and borrow the snare ring from me for SYF.
While walking towards Mac, Daniel and Iaene said they wanted to put their stuff at Daniel's place first and asked me and Max to go ahead to mac without them.
I didn't know they had something up their sleeves.
When I went to mac, I remember about school's GEMS. I was suppose to register for it! I was so anxious because there isn't much interesting modules left and the one I can make do with is only left with 1 spot. I tried using Max and Melvyn's(Who joined us soon after) phone to try to register for my GEMS but somehow I just can't register through phone. So I asked them to wait for me as I rush home to register my GEMS.
When I reached home, I dashed for the laptop. When I pass by the kitchen I heard noises and I saw a bunch of people in my Kitchen. I thought it was a robbery or something. Haha. They started singing happy birthday and I realise it's my friends. At that moment I was feeling Anxious, Worried, Shocked, Surprised and Happy. Imagine the extent of my "mixed" emotion hahaha.
Mevis, Madeline, Iaene, Raymond, Daniel were in my kitchen and Mevis was filming my reaction. I bet she's gonna upload the video soon. Thanks for the Bakerzin's Chocolate cake too people :) Melvyn and Max who was at Mac followed me home and joined us very soon after. I really dint expect it'll be the bunch of secondary 1 and 2 friends who planned this out for me. They planned it well cus I didn't suspect anything like that would happen to me. I expected a celebration from my 4E7 instead of my 2E8 cus I was closer to 4E7. I really expect Naf to like at least fork out time for me during my birthday. I was kinda disappointed actually but I'm glad my sec 2 friends did this for me, It was the best birthday celebration. Unforgettable. I love you guys :)
Mevis had to go first cus her parents was coming to fetch her. After that we went to eat at the Kopitiam near my place and was shocked by the news about Ramdan. Weiping skated from his place to the Kopitiam to meet us then we went to 7-11 to buy things. I bought my first beer there call Saparo or something.
Madeline went home after that
So the rest of us went to Mac and play + Chat the whole day. Half way through Daniel buey tahan and go home to rest. So we hang out Till 5am before all of us went to my place and wait for the first bus to come.
Thank you for everything people :)
It's the best. I didn't expected this surprise at all. I thought my 18th birthday will be just another uninteresting day just like any other birthday I had.
Okay okay, let me explain what happened.
Since I have no plans for my birthday and Iaene asked me out for shopping aka celebration. I went out with him. I messaged Daniel to see if he's free after his SP flag day to go out with us and he joined us too. I saw Raymond across the tracks at the MRT station when I was at Dover waiting for Daniel. He wished me a happy birthday, I wanted to ask him to join too but his train is already coming.
So when Daniel joined us, we went to town and shopped. We saw Joshua, Veronica Tang, Gouwei, Shawn and Alex in town. Wow.. so many friends at town. Haha. After buying some stuff. Kirby and Yuting were suppose to join us but they didn't because Yuting is too tired from work and Kirby gotta send her home. It was disappointing but I understand.
Cleo & her boyfriend wished me a happy birthday through the phone too. The only ones who called to wish me happy birthday. Thank you :) Majority of the people just text me Happy Birthday.
So Iaene said he wanted to go Daniel house to slack after shopping at town. Max and Weiping asked me out for supper too. So i suggest to Iaene and Daniel to join us near my house's mac. Weiping is already eating with his colleagues because his workplace is near there. So much coincidence in a day? I didn't even suspect anything haha. Then Melvyn called and asked whether he can drop by my place and borrow the snare ring from me for SYF.
While walking towards Mac, Daniel and Iaene said they wanted to put their stuff at Daniel's place first and asked me and Max to go ahead to mac without them.
I didn't know they had something up their sleeves.
When I went to mac, I remember about school's GEMS. I was suppose to register for it! I was so anxious because there isn't much interesting modules left and the one I can make do with is only left with 1 spot. I tried using Max and Melvyn's(Who joined us soon after) phone to try to register for my GEMS but somehow I just can't register through phone. So I asked them to wait for me as I rush home to register my GEMS.
When I reached home, I dashed for the laptop. When I pass by the kitchen I heard noises and I saw a bunch of people in my Kitchen. I thought it was a robbery or something. Haha. They started singing happy birthday and I realise it's my friends. At that moment I was feeling Anxious, Worried, Shocked, Surprised and Happy. Imagine the extent of my "mixed" emotion hahaha.
Mevis, Madeline, Iaene, Raymond, Daniel were in my kitchen and Mevis was filming my reaction. I bet she's gonna upload the video soon. Thanks for the Bakerzin's Chocolate cake too people :) Melvyn and Max who was at Mac followed me home and joined us very soon after. I really dint expect it'll be the bunch of secondary 1 and 2 friends who planned this out for me. They planned it well cus I didn't suspect anything like that would happen to me. I expected a celebration from my 4E7 instead of my 2E8 cus I was closer to 4E7. I really expect Naf to like at least fork out time for me during my birthday. I was kinda disappointed actually but I'm glad my sec 2 friends did this for me, It was the best birthday celebration. Unforgettable. I love you guys :)
Mevis had to go first cus her parents was coming to fetch her. After that we went to eat at the Kopitiam near my place and was shocked by the news about Ramdan. Weiping skated from his place to the Kopitiam to meet us then we went to 7-11 to buy things. I bought my first beer there call Saparo or something.
Madeline went home after that
So the rest of us went to Mac and play + Chat the whole day. Half way through Daniel buey tahan and go home to rest. So we hang out Till 5am before all of us went to my place and wait for the first bus to come.
Thank you for everything people :)
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I'm so happy when I'm with you.
12th April 2011
Although I waited for you for about 20minutes, It's worth the wait because it was an enjoyable time with you.
You helped me pick some really nice clothing and you came out with me even though you're having flu, thank you so much :)
I've learnt to cherish and I realize simple things like this means a lot. Maybe in the past, we din't know how to cherish each other and that's why you'll think our relationship is dull.
We laughed a lot, it feels like the old time. I don't understand why we can't be together. I know maybe it's because you like the other guy.
I feel that you're just blinded momentarily by the "freshness". As time passes by, there'll definitely be quarrels and arguments and dull moments. How long will it take for the guy to realise what I've realised? Will it be too late by then? Will the relationship end just before it really started?
or maybe it's your work load.
You know I'm not a high maintenance boyfriend, I give you all the freedom you want and I only need a little time from you to show that you still care and love me. How many guys will let their girl hang out with other dudes and play soccer with a bunch of guys? Moreover I don't get jealous easily because I have faith in you. I never questioned about our love. When you have any problem, isn't it good to have someone there for you? someone who really cares and know about you and treat your problems like his? and give you hugs whenever you need one? I'll be that person for you.
I believe what I've learnt through these years with and without you can last us till we draw our last breathe. If you will just give me another chance, I'll be the best boyfriend as well as husband anyone can ever have. Will you be my girlfriend?
Even if the answer is a no, I must still thank you for the beautiful memories and I hope you'll be happy.
Although I waited for you for about 20minutes, It's worth the wait because it was an enjoyable time with you.
You helped me pick some really nice clothing and you came out with me even though you're having flu, thank you so much :)
I've learnt to cherish and I realize simple things like this means a lot. Maybe in the past, we din't know how to cherish each other and that's why you'll think our relationship is dull.
We laughed a lot, it feels like the old time. I don't understand why we can't be together. I know maybe it's because you like the other guy.
I feel that you're just blinded momentarily by the "freshness". As time passes by, there'll definitely be quarrels and arguments and dull moments. How long will it take for the guy to realise what I've realised? Will it be too late by then? Will the relationship end just before it really started?
or maybe it's your work load.
You know I'm not a high maintenance boyfriend, I give you all the freedom you want and I only need a little time from you to show that you still care and love me. How many guys will let their girl hang out with other dudes and play soccer with a bunch of guys? Moreover I don't get jealous easily because I have faith in you. I never questioned about our love. When you have any problem, isn't it good to have someone there for you? someone who really cares and know about you and treat your problems like his? and give you hugs whenever you need one? I'll be that person for you.
I believe what I've learnt through these years with and without you can last us till we draw our last breathe. If you will just give me another chance, I'll be the best boyfriend as well as husband anyone can ever have. Will you be my girlfriend?
Even if the answer is a no, I must still thank you for the beautiful memories and I hope you'll be happy.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Nightmare
I just had a nightmare :'( It's a crazy dream.
I dreamed that I was begging you to go out with me.. You came over to my place and there's ppl in my place. I was busy talking to others and when I looked for you, you were with a guy behaving intimately and I saw you clipping your bra. It's like both of you just make out. I was jealous.
The next moment we board the MRT, you were happily talking to that guy and I was with my friends.
I went to you and said "You're suppose to spend the day with me. Are you spending your time with TCH or this guy?"
You Replied "This guy"
I was broken
I cried out "Why do you play a fool with me? You come and you go, I'm not your toy, I have emotions. If you want me to get out of your life just tell me! and I'll go! ..." so on and so forth(I cant rmb). I only know I was losing it.
Your whole attitude seem so different, It seems like you don't care for me AT ALL and you just want me out of your life.
Your new guy acts like a jerk while I was talking it out with you so I delivered a hateful punch to him across the face.
I screamed out, "I'll kill all your boyfriends!"
and you replied, "Then I'll just find another one."
After that, I woke up feeling very scared, insecure and heartbroken.
I wish I have you right beside me to hug me and tell me that what happened in the dream is not going to happen.
But I realize that.. there's some reality to the dream.
I am too attached to you, you're really everything I wanted.
I really feel very down and this feeling doesn't feel good.
Please help me :'(
I dreamed that I was begging you to go out with me.. You came over to my place and there's ppl in my place. I was busy talking to others and when I looked for you, you were with a guy behaving intimately and I saw you clipping your bra. It's like both of you just make out. I was jealous.
The next moment we board the MRT, you were happily talking to that guy and I was with my friends.
I went to you and said "You're suppose to spend the day with me. Are you spending your time with TCH or this guy?"
You Replied "This guy"
I was broken
I cried out "Why do you play a fool with me? You come and you go, I'm not your toy, I have emotions. If you want me to get out of your life just tell me! and I'll go! ..." so on and so forth(I cant rmb). I only know I was losing it.
Your whole attitude seem so different, It seems like you don't care for me AT ALL and you just want me out of your life.
Your new guy acts like a jerk while I was talking it out with you so I delivered a hateful punch to him across the face.
I screamed out, "I'll kill all your boyfriends!"
and you replied, "Then I'll just find another one."
After that, I woke up feeling very scared, insecure and heartbroken.
I wish I have you right beside me to hug me and tell me that what happened in the dream is not going to happen.
But I realize that.. there's some reality to the dream.
I am too attached to you, you're really everything I wanted.
I really feel very down and this feeling doesn't feel good.
Please help me :'(
Shopping time...
12th of April 2011
I'll be meeting her later in the noon, 3pm. I hope she'll turn up..
10th of April 2011
She din't come for the steamboat.. I'm disappointed but she explained to me, I understand.
I'll be meeting her later in the noon, 3pm. I hope she'll turn up..
10th of April 2011
She din't come for the steamboat.. I'm disappointed but she explained to me, I understand.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Disappointment
You said "It seems like I've been the biggest disappointment in your life."
Indeed you are.. because you are the most important person in my life.
I remember one day you asked me to sleep early. I stay up late because I was hoping that you'll call me, but you didn't.
I know I can never escape from disappointments. Others would tell me, "keep on trying", "it's not end of everything" and all the encouragement words. It somehow lift the burden of mine, however deep down inside me, No. I can't take it. It's just too painful.
I appreciate all the advices. At least It let me know, people around me cares about me and I have shoulders to cry on.
Maybe Like you say, I put up high hopes and when It doesn't go the way i thought it'll be, I'll get disappointed. I dare not hope that you'll get back to me, because I'm afraid to be disappointed again.
Indeed you are.. because you are the most important person in my life.
I remember one day you asked me to sleep early. I stay up late because I was hoping that you'll call me, but you didn't.
I know I can never escape from disappointments. Others would tell me, "keep on trying", "it's not end of everything" and all the encouragement words. It somehow lift the burden of mine, however deep down inside me, No. I can't take it. It's just too painful.
I appreciate all the advices. At least It let me know, people around me cares about me and I have shoulders to cry on.
Maybe Like you say, I put up high hopes and when It doesn't go the way i thought it'll be, I'll get disappointed. I dare not hope that you'll get back to me, because I'm afraid to be disappointed again.
A book call "The Rules of Love".
I find that some of the rules in this book are very important to a relationship.
There's no such thing as whether you are compatible for each other. It's an excuse.There will be no one that is exactly the same as you. If there is, your relationship will be meaningless. So embrace what you have in common instead of complaining about your differences.
Don't ever belittle your partner. Your partner needs encouragement from you instead of being put down. You are the first person your partner will look for whenever he/she feels insecure. If even you belittle him/she, things will normally turn out bad between each other.
Forget about your ego. Apologize, even if you think it's not your fault. It's the best way to solve the problem.
Okay, so you're in a relationship with this person for 5 years now and you think it's okay not to dress up for him/her. You're wrong. I mean, not all the time, sometimes you gotta doll yourself up for your special someone.
Please respect each other's privacy. No one will feel good without privacy. Would you like it if your life is being monitored every single second even when you're not doing something wrong and got nothing to hide? No.
You think you know your partner thoroughly. No you don't if you stop talking to him/her. Eventually you'll not know your partner at all.
Love = Time,
Time = Love,
No Love = No time,
No Time = No love.
Plan your time wisely.
Make time for your special someone, even if its for 5minutes. Be there when your partner needs you.
Friday, April 8, 2011
That's the guy you like?
Nice photos, I'm being sarcastic anyways. Maybe I'm jealous but you have the right to do what you want right? cus you're no longer my girlfriend, like you always reminded me. It's not like you doll yourself up when you go out with me. I'm sure he is the guy you fall for to make you doll yourself and go on a "date" with him.
You know I hope you'll get together with him, then after a few months your relationship with him turn dull like how ours did, eventually he treat you like shit and overtime make you realize I treat you better than him and when you want me back. I will say No. I know I'm being mean.
You know that once you get together with someone else, I will never take you back.
Sometimes I feel that, I'm no longer your boyfriend, Why are you still kissing me, hugging me? Do you do that to all the guys you fancy? You make me feel like a toy to you.
I'm feeling uneasy right now. Oh well, Life goes on even without you.
You know I hope you'll get together with him, then after a few months your relationship with him turn dull like how ours did, eventually he treat you like shit and overtime make you realize I treat you better than him and when you want me back. I will say No. I know I'm being mean.
You know that once you get together with someone else, I will never take you back.
Sometimes I feel that, I'm no longer your boyfriend, Why are you still kissing me, hugging me? Do you do that to all the guys you fancy? You make me feel like a toy to you.
I'm feeling uneasy right now. Oh well, Life goes on even without you.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
7th April 2011
I was looking forward to today because I get to meet Naf.. She look damn tired today, I think it's because she cried after reading this book call "The Kite Runner". She's still gorgeous anyways. Throughout the day, I wasn't sure how I should treat her, whether to treat her like my darling or to treat her as a friend. There's just a constant reminder of restrictions in my mind however I just treat her how i would naturally, and i guess its the loving TCH after all. That greedy little girl, read too much of my diary until she lose her emotions. Try to screen shot somemore, tricky little girl isn't she? Cute :) When she cried I had mix emotions, I felt pain in my heart seeing her cry while the other side of me felt glad because she cried for me.. at least that shows that she care for me.. Right?
(When I search for your pictures, I still click the folder labeled as "Family")
Occasionally I would dream of having a family with you. Like waking up every morning, seeing you lie next to me, preparing breakfast for me.. and all the other things that hubby and wife get to do together. If you're my wife, I wont let you work because I don't want you to have not enough sleep and stress out. I'll work very hard to make sure we have a comfortable life. I'm really curious how our baby will look like, you know? Haha. It'll be a brand new chapter of life with you.
It's wonderful to think of these things but when you realize that reality isn't looking so good, all the thinking will be pointless.
6th of April 2011
I went out with 2E8 for steamboat at Bugis, 20 bucks sia! I've already spent 100 plus this month and now it's like only what date? 6th? Haha. Anyway the steamboat was a total waste of money. The food there sucks and one major fail is.. you know what? There's a caterpillar in our soup from the veg we took. YUCK!! Total turn off. Junfeng dint tell us about the caterpillar until we finished my food cus he din't wanna spoil our appetite. He asked for the boss, the boss offer us 1 person off and I think because he found out Junfeng took a picture of the caterpillar he offer another person off. From the 40 bucks we saved, we went to get Starbucks drinks for everyone :) Awesome or what. Haaha.. but ewwwww... Fucking caterpillar.
Now I can't sleep because of the caffiene.
I hope I can find someone new and fall in love with her so I can get over Naf. When I say get over Naf, I don't feel happy at all. I don't wanna get over her.
5th of April 2011
I saw this pair of Supra shoes at Queensway Mall. So nice but the price also very nice, 300bucks?! Crazy. No way will I buy it and step on my 300 Bucks. Haha. How I wish it'll just appear in front of me magically. I bought this PS3 game call Vanquish. It was awesome. Bought it for 35bucks, 2nd hand. There's also the same game 49bucks, 2nd hand. It's exactly the same. Why the price difference!? I think they tag the pricing wrongly. Hahaha. I gained. If I trade my game in, I'll get 20bucks for it. So I actually end up buying the game for 15bucks. Ain't I a money saver?
One of the days, can't remember which.
I want to be able to talk to you so badly but there's nth to say because i don't know you anymore.
While talking on the phone with you today, we had a little argument. That's when I got knocked into senses. I had the feeling of giving up.
I'm doing things for you which you shouldn't deserve to have. Why am i so desperate? I must have my own pride and not beg to be loved again.
You're taking me for granted.
I was looking forward to today because I get to meet Naf.. She look damn tired today, I think it's because she cried after reading this book call "The Kite Runner". She's still gorgeous anyways. Throughout the day, I wasn't sure how I should treat her, whether to treat her like my darling or to treat her as a friend. There's just a constant reminder of restrictions in my mind however I just treat her how i would naturally, and i guess its the loving TCH after all. That greedy little girl, read too much of my diary until she lose her emotions. Try to screen shot somemore, tricky little girl isn't she? Cute :) When she cried I had mix emotions, I felt pain in my heart seeing her cry while the other side of me felt glad because she cried for me.. at least that shows that she care for me.. Right?
(When I search for your pictures, I still click the folder labeled as "Family")
Occasionally I would dream of having a family with you. Like waking up every morning, seeing you lie next to me, preparing breakfast for me.. and all the other things that hubby and wife get to do together. If you're my wife, I wont let you work because I don't want you to have not enough sleep and stress out. I'll work very hard to make sure we have a comfortable life. I'm really curious how our baby will look like, you know? Haha. It'll be a brand new chapter of life with you.
It's wonderful to think of these things but when you realize that reality isn't looking so good, all the thinking will be pointless.
6th of April 2011
I went out with 2E8 for steamboat at Bugis, 20 bucks sia! I've already spent 100 plus this month and now it's like only what date? 6th? Haha. Anyway the steamboat was a total waste of money. The food there sucks and one major fail is.. you know what? There's a caterpillar in our soup from the veg we took. YUCK!! Total turn off. Junfeng dint tell us about the caterpillar until we finished my food cus he din't wanna spoil our appetite. He asked for the boss, the boss offer us 1 person off and I think because he found out Junfeng took a picture of the caterpillar he offer another person off. From the 40 bucks we saved, we went to get Starbucks drinks for everyone :) Awesome or what. Haaha.. but ewwwww... Fucking caterpillar.
Now I can't sleep because of the caffiene.
I hope I can find someone new and fall in love with her so I can get over Naf. When I say get over Naf, I don't feel happy at all. I don't wanna get over her.
5th of April 2011
I saw this pair of Supra shoes at Queensway Mall. So nice but the price also very nice, 300bucks?! Crazy. No way will I buy it and step on my 300 Bucks. Haha. How I wish it'll just appear in front of me magically. I bought this PS3 game call Vanquish. It was awesome. Bought it for 35bucks, 2nd hand. There's also the same game 49bucks, 2nd hand. It's exactly the same. Why the price difference!? I think they tag the pricing wrongly. Hahaha. I gained. If I trade my game in, I'll get 20bucks for it. So I actually end up buying the game for 15bucks. Ain't I a money saver?
One of the days, can't remember which.
I want to be able to talk to you so badly but there's nth to say because i don't know you anymore.
While talking on the phone with you today, we had a little argument. That's when I got knocked into senses. I had the feeling of giving up.
I'm doing things for you which you shouldn't deserve to have. Why am i so desperate? I must have my own pride and not beg to be loved again.
You're taking me for granted.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Memories..
Hi Diary... Bet you can't wait to know what I'm feeling, lol. You must be like "nah, I can wait for the longest time possible".
... What the hell?! why am I talking to myself... Ummm I shall go and bath first before i continue writing. WATER'S BOILING!!
I'm back! is this like the only post I'm actually "feeling good"? I think it's because she called and talked to me yesterday, that's why. See? I'm so easy to satisfy.. This is how I was like when I'm with Nicolle. I just need to see her once a day, no matter the duration and no matter whether there's a conversation. I din't try to hold her hands or kiss her through out our r/s because I was satisfied easily. She assume that I don't love her anymore, that's why she broke up with me.
After that, I learn that to make a girl happy, you must do sweet things for her. That I must constantly show concern about her and tell her how much I love her.
I want to treat Naf with my best, I hope it isn't too late.
While bathing.. I suddenly had a flashback of Naf. It's about her finding out that there's a little mole on my left cheek. Haha. She was shocked. It's weird how she din't notice it after we've been together for 3 years. I think my mole is a ninja.. I understand it's not easy to spot. I know she got a mole in the middle of her chest. I think i rmb all the features on her :)
Moving on.. I checked my mail today and found these:
TANCHENHUI! :D
Hi guy :D I created this email to tell you of ALLLLLL th things tht I kept inside my heart. I nvr thought I'd write a 'goodbye' letter to you. Haha. So, here goes nth...
I know I'm not a good gf to you and all. I guess, this is where our rship ends. And, I think I can finally move on now. Thnks fr th tips, hahaa. Talking to you helps me to get over you better . Although many ppl said tht ignoring you is better. I really think it's the otherwise. So, yeah. &uhm, I hope tht we'll be friends, no matter what happens :) Pls rmbr, you owe me 3 dates! One for th Sentosa thing, second is fr the Spore thing and another fr Prom Night :) Rmbr hor TANAHPEK! Hahaha. Thnks fr th gd times, really really appreciate it. Even though we had our good times and bad times, I can say tht you nvr fail to make me love you all th same. If I could turn back time, I would try to reverse plenty of things. But I can't. &an apology won't cover up for all th mean things I did/said to you. But I guess tht's just life huh? You make mistakes, regret and then move on. And tht's exactly wht i'm gonna do :)
And apart from my apologies, I have a BIG thnk you too. Thnks for trying hard to change me. You may think tht thr's no difference in my attitude. But actually, thr is. I can feel it fr myself. I'm no longer THAAAT arrogant and stubborn as before. DON'T SAY 'YA RIGHT'. Cos, even if it's not significant. I know tht thr's a change in me. &I wanna thnk you fr tht :) Besides that, you taught me life, how to live it, how to care fr others and not only think abt myself. You taught me trust, loyalty, and...how to sex. Hahahaahaha. And most importantly, you taught me how to love :) I really really wanna thnk you fr tht. Before getting into a rship with you, all my exes don't even last for 1mth 1 day! But, you make it such tht I can commit to a guy longer. 1 year 1 mth. Wow. Thnk you :D
I nvr thought this day would come. &It's hard to say goodbye, heh. But, I figured you alr did, and I MUST do th same too. Goodbye tch/guy/dear/darl/sweetheart/hubby/mr straw/tanahpek :) I hope you live your life to the fullest and take great care of yourself. Find a good gf/fiancee/wife, treat her good! Don't everytime bully her! Like wht you always do to me! Humpff. Lol. Don't everytime heck care her then go to your friends. Hahaha.
Say 'bye' to your mum for me. She's a good mother and a good person. I'll definitely miss her. Haha. HUSKY! Hahahaa. Don't bully her! And don't you fuck her hor. Hahaha. Treat her good. Or else, I report to SPCA. Hahaha. Your other family members...hmmm, dont really know wht to say abt them. I just hope Siew Hui, Jia Hui and Ming Hui have a never ending love with their loved ones: Wen Hao, Sean and...dunno her name..LOL. Help me say: FUCK YOU! to Fishball the rabbit. I don't like her/him. AND NVR WILL. WTHJUMPHEREJUMPTHR. Lol. And as for you! Don't be too easy going. Ltr ppl step on your head how? Step back ah? LOL.
Study hard for your O's! I know I will :D You must get good grades and then TRY beat me in English. HAHAHAHA 'B4' GUY. I GET 'A1' LEIIIII. LOL. Good luck, all the best and ... I love you. I will always do :) Even when I've gotten over you, I know you'll always have a place in my heart. TANCHENHUI: the FIRST guy who stole my heart, my first naive kiss and my virginity. Hahah. Ok ok, let me just give you one last qingqing &a long long baobao.
*QINGQING*
*BAOBAO*
Okay then, I won't pester you anymore :) Lol.
Au Revoir! Wish you all the best in your future guy :D
XOXO, naf (:
Now it's my turn to say good bye isn't it? It's funny how things can turn out to be.
I also found a small conversation we had on msn.
I can't post it because there's drawings and stuff.
Why I mention about this conversation is because:
When I read it, it reminds me of how close we used to be. We're love birds.
It also reminded me of us always meeting at the bus stop near our school to head to school together. You're always rushing to me because we're gonna be late, while I watched you as your wet and untied hair wavered in the morning breeze. It's a precious moment although sometimes we end up being late. Remember that day, while walking on the long path beside the school you dared me to ask the Fuhua girl who was walking in front of us for her number? It was funny because when i went up to her and try to get her number, her face was damn shock and the first thing that came out of her mouth is "No", haha. While you were laughing at the back.
The same old path of me walking to school with you in the morning and me sending you home after school have many memories of us. They mean so much to me..
There's so much memories of us in my mind, there's too much to be written out.
They say secondary school's life is the best and most memorable, I bet it is because with you.. you make my secondary school's life wonderful... I love you.
Love,
TCH
... What the hell?! why am I talking to myself... Ummm I shall go and bath first before i continue writing. WATER'S BOILING!!
I'm back! is this like the only post I'm actually "feeling good"? I think it's because she called and talked to me yesterday, that's why. See? I'm so easy to satisfy.. This is how I was like when I'm with Nicolle. I just need to see her once a day, no matter the duration and no matter whether there's a conversation. I din't try to hold her hands or kiss her through out our r/s because I was satisfied easily. She assume that I don't love her anymore, that's why she broke up with me.
After that, I learn that to make a girl happy, you must do sweet things for her. That I must constantly show concern about her and tell her how much I love her.
I want to treat Naf with my best, I hope it isn't too late.
While bathing.. I suddenly had a flashback of Naf. It's about her finding out that there's a little mole on my left cheek. Haha. She was shocked. It's weird how she din't notice it after we've been together for 3 years. I think my mole is a ninja.. I understand it's not easy to spot. I know she got a mole in the middle of her chest. I think i rmb all the features on her :)
Moving on.. I checked my mail today and found these:
TANCHENHUI! :D
Hi guy :D I created this email to tell you of ALLLLLL th things tht I kept inside my heart. I nvr thought I'd write a 'goodbye' letter to you. Haha. So, here goes nth...
I know I'm not a good gf to you and all. I guess, this is where our rship ends. And, I think I can finally move on now. Thnks fr th tips, hahaa. Talking to you helps me to get over you better . Although many ppl said tht ignoring you is better. I really think it's the otherwise. So, yeah. &uhm, I hope tht we'll be friends, no matter what happens :) Pls rmbr, you owe me 3 dates! One for th Sentosa thing, second is fr the Spore thing and another fr Prom Night :) Rmbr hor TANAHPEK! Hahaha. Thnks fr th gd times, really really appreciate it. Even though we had our good times and bad times, I can say tht you nvr fail to make me love you all th same. If I could turn back time, I would try to reverse plenty of things. But I can't. &an apology won't cover up for all th mean things I did/said to you. But I guess tht's just life huh? You make mistakes, regret and then move on. And tht's exactly wht i'm gonna do :)
And apart from my apologies, I have a BIG thnk you too. Thnks for trying hard to change me. You may think tht thr's no difference in my attitude. But actually, thr is. I can feel it fr myself. I'm no longer THAAAT arrogant and stubborn as before. DON'T SAY 'YA RIGHT'. Cos, even if it's not significant. I know tht thr's a change in me. &I wanna thnk you fr tht :) Besides that, you taught me life, how to live it, how to care fr others and not only think abt myself. You taught me trust, loyalty, and...how to sex. Hahahaahaha. And most importantly, you taught me how to love :) I really really wanna thnk you fr tht. Before getting into a rship with you, all my exes don't even last for 1mth 1 day! But, you make it such tht I can commit to a guy longer. 1 year 1 mth. Wow. Thnk you :D
I nvr thought this day would come. &It's hard to say goodbye, heh. But, I figured you alr did, and I MUST do th same too. Goodbye tch/guy/dear/darl/sweetheart/hubby/mr straw/tanahpek :) I hope you live your life to the fullest and take great care of yourself. Find a good gf/fiancee/wife, treat her good! Don't everytime bully her! Like wht you always do to me! Humpff. Lol. Don't everytime heck care her then go to your friends. Hahaha.
Say 'bye' to your mum for me. She's a good mother and a good person. I'll definitely miss her. Haha. HUSKY! Hahahaa. Don't bully her! And don't you fuck her hor. Hahaha. Treat her good. Or else, I report to SPCA. Hahaha. Your other family members...hmmm, dont really know wht to say abt them. I just hope Siew Hui, Jia Hui and Ming Hui have a never ending love with their loved ones: Wen Hao, Sean and...dunno her name..LOL. Help me say: FUCK YOU! to Fishball the rabbit. I don't like her/him. AND NVR WILL. WTHJUMPHEREJUMPTHR. Lol. And as for you! Don't be too easy going. Ltr ppl step on your head how? Step back ah? LOL.
Study hard for your O's! I know I will :D You must get good grades and then TRY beat me in English. HAHAHAHA 'B4' GUY. I GET 'A1' LEIIIII. LOL. Good luck, all the best and ... I love you. I will always do :) Even when I've gotten over you, I know you'll always have a place in my heart. TANCHENHUI: the FIRST guy who stole my heart, my first naive kiss and my virginity. Hahah. Ok ok, let me just give you one last qingqing &a long long baobao.
*QINGQING*
*BAOBAO*
Okay then, I won't pester you anymore :) Lol.
Au Revoir! Wish you all the best in your future guy :D
XOXO, naf (:
Now it's my turn to say good bye isn't it? It's funny how things can turn out to be.
I also found a small conversation we had on msn.
I can't post it because there's drawings and stuff.
Why I mention about this conversation is because:
When I read it, it reminds me of how close we used to be. We're love birds.
It also reminded me of us always meeting at the bus stop near our school to head to school together. You're always rushing to me because we're gonna be late, while I watched you as your wet and untied hair wavered in the morning breeze. It's a precious moment although sometimes we end up being late. Remember that day, while walking on the long path beside the school you dared me to ask the Fuhua girl who was walking in front of us for her number? It was funny because when i went up to her and try to get her number, her face was damn shock and the first thing that came out of her mouth is "No", haha. While you were laughing at the back.
The same old path of me walking to school with you in the morning and me sending you home after school have many memories of us. They mean so much to me..
There's so much memories of us in my mind, there's too much to be written out.
They say secondary school's life is the best and most memorable, I bet it is because with you.. you make my secondary school's life wonderful... I love you.
Love,
TCH
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Old Blog
In my old blog, I realized I post about you frequently. Can't you see that you're a big part of my life?
I found these in my old blog:
Sunday, June 27, 2010.
I locked my blog cus i only want you.. my dear to know about my life. No one else :) You are the only person that i will make an effort to get to know more, talk to, and of course love more. I think im so sick of poly cus i very lazy to make friends with ppl. I know in the end, They wont matter a bit but you are different. You really mean alot to me, and i love you. I love you all along this 3 years, I regreted making all the stupid mistakes i've done to break your heart. I'm happy with you around. Today you so sweet uhhhhh, accompany me go dye hair :) I told you preston is good! If you wanna cut hair, go let him do ur hair okay?? Doesnt matter what hairstyle u cut, ure still my girl.LOVE YOU SO MUCH LAH DEAR! :D
You can make me so happy.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I had a dream and it was about you, I smiled and recalled the memories we had
then I noticed a tear fell from my eyes.. you know why?
Cause in my dream you kissed me and said goodbye.
And you can make me so sad.
There's so much more about you than just these two post in my old blog.
I found these in my old blog:
Sunday, June 27, 2010.
I locked my blog cus i only want you.. my dear to know about my life. No one else :) You are the only person that i will make an effort to get to know more, talk to, and of course love more. I think im so sick of poly cus i very lazy to make friends with ppl. I know in the end, They wont matter a bit but you are different. You really mean alot to me, and i love you. I love you all along this 3 years, I regreted making all the stupid mistakes i've done to break your heart. I'm happy with you around. Today you so sweet uhhhhh, accompany me go dye hair :) I told you preston is good! If you wanna cut hair, go let him do ur hair okay?? Doesnt matter what hairstyle u cut, ure still my girl.LOVE YOU SO MUCH LAH DEAR! :D
You can make me so happy.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I had a dream and it was about you, I smiled and recalled the memories we had
then I noticed a tear fell from my eyes.. you know why?
Cause in my dream you kissed me and said goodbye.
And you can make me so sad.
There's so much more about you than just these two post in my old blog.
I Miss You, Nafizah.
Finally you gave me a call :)
I hate it when you remind me that you're not my girlfriend anymore, I hate it.
You asked me to stop treating you so nice...
My mind tells me not to treat you like a princess but I'm just following what my heart tells me to do. I cannot control myself, I'm sorry..
Friends and I are planning to have steamboat at my place next Saturday, I hope she'll tag along too. I miss that beautiful smile and big googly eyes of hers. Every flaws that she thinks she have is beautiful to me, She's just so perfect.
I hate it when you remind me that you're not my girlfriend anymore, I hate it.
You asked me to stop treating you so nice...
My mind tells me not to treat you like a princess but I'm just following what my heart tells me to do. I cannot control myself, I'm sorry..
Friends and I are planning to have steamboat at my place next Saturday, I hope she'll tag along too. I miss that beautiful smile and big googly eyes of hers. Every flaws that she thinks she have is beautiful to me, She's just so perfect.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)