Our lives

You know we've gotten into our new life for 1 year already. I'm from Sp, She's from nyp, both schs are far apart. Her work is extreme, she doesnt have any time for anything, not even me except for her work. Starting for half a year or so, we're fine and happy. But then we broke off cus she said our r/s is getting dull, its like she knows me thoroughly and i know her thoroughly, there's nothing more we can know about each other furthermore. I believe what she knows about me are just my habits and not my true self because i hardly tell her a lot on how i feel and what problems I'm facing. She doesn't know that there's so much things i want to tell her, it's just that when i want to tell her about something, she's too caught up with her work. There's so much more she can learn about me. She say she wanted to experience what its like to be with other guys. I let her, and i regretted, so much. Eventually we became distant and our love starts to fade.. sigh. She says I'm devoted and I'm being too nice to her. She feels that she doesn't deserve me. Which guy doesn't treat the girl they love the best they can, right? Even after what she said, how come i feel that she is the best for me? that my hand fits her's best? She said she's involved with other guys. She like this one guy and she refuse to tell me more about him because she's afraid that i might judge. By so, i assume that that chap isn't doing so well, be it his character, his studies, what so ever. I'm curious what kind of guy is he? I'm not saying that I'm better than him, cus love is blind. Even if i am better, I'm jealous of him. At least he has a chance to be with her and have her attention, unlike me, its hopeless. I believe no matter how perfect i may be, i may no longer be as perfect as what she thinks i was in her eyes anymore. Still, I think she's flawless to me. She said after she get her diploma, if she's single and I'm single and we still feel for each other then if its happens it happens, if it doesn't then it doesn't. I just feel that there is 99% chance of it not going to happen and this makes me really sad. Recently we hanged out, we felt awkward, its like i dunno how to savage this r/s. I've tried my best, but i really dunno what to do right now, I'm at my limit, I'm very tired. I feel useless, lonely and lost. Do you know how miserable it's to be feeling this way? Why did i get together with her so young? Why am i not the guy she has a crush on right now.. then at least we can last another 3-4 years. I know it's weird to say this, but you know.. even if our whole relationship is a lie, I'm happy when I'm with you.